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The Official Journal of a Little Banana Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "litlebanana" journal:

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July 4th, 2017
11:18 am

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An email from my six year old
Libby somehow got an email account and sent me this email this morning:

I love you mama and I want my money I love you so much I'm happy I'm gonna go to the bathroom oh I love you so much you're the best mom

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April 27th, 2017
10:52 pm

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teeth
Yesterday, Libby lost her very first baby tooth.

Today she lost her second baby tooth.

At this rate, she'll be edentulous by mid-May.

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January 18th, 2017
04:18 pm

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molasses
This friend of mine made some molasses brownies a bit ago, so I tried making some today. I tasted a drop of molasses prior to mixing it into the batter, and now I feel SO sick from that molasses. I'm concerned that I made a whole batch of really disgusting brownies.

Does molasses taste better after cooking it? God, I hope so....

I'm also making some pork ribs and BBQ sauce in the crockpot and it tastes pretty amazing so far. Maybe I've hit on a second thing that tastes good in the crockpot.

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October 15th, 2016
08:10 am

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Self publishing
I ran a promotion of one of my books last week and it's going really well. I've sold 800 copies in two weeks. So far in October, I've made about $800.

I'm realizing how lucrative self-publishing can be. It's not quite "quit your day job" kind of money, but not bad. On months when I run a promotion, I usually make about $2000. On months when I don't, I make at least $1000. I've probably already made over $20,000 in 2016. And I still got a lot more going on for the next two months.

I genuinely think that if I put everything I had into this, it really could be "quit your day job" kind of money. But since I do have a day job that I don't want to quit, I'm not pushing as hard as I could.

One thing that surprises me is that writing doesn'tnecessarily have to be good to sell books. You just have to have a lot of it. But I'm not willing to put something out but I don't think it's well written.

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June 4th, 2016
08:29 pm

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exhausting
Today I:

--Cleaned out both kids closets, bagged up Melanie's stuff that's too small, and donated Libby's stuff that's too small.

--Took Melanie to dentist

--Baked cupcakes

--Took kids to a carnival

--Took kids swimming

--Cooked dinner (what else is new?)

And this is why the weekend is NOT a break.

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May 28th, 2016
08:20 pm

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BJs
So I bought a membership at BJs to replace my Costco membership. But now that we bought some clothes there, I don't know what to get there. What can you get at BJs if you're just a family of four without much storage space?

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May 14th, 2016
04:25 pm

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haircut
My kids' responses to my getting a haircut:

Melanie: "I don't like it. It's much too short. It looked better before."

Libby: "It looks exactly the same. Did you really get it cut? I don't believe you."

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April 22nd, 2016
07:25 am

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Free Audiobook
Would anyone like a free copy of Baby City on audiobook to review?

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-City-Inside-Labor-Delivery/dp/B01DWVG2GO/

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March 13th, 2016
08:58 pm

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Death and marriage
Libby is weirdly obsessed with the idea of marrying me. I suppose I should be happy, since I don't have a boy child who wants to marry me. At least once a day, she says to me, "will you marry me?" And then I say yes, and we hug excitedly. And then we argue over who loves who more. We're like a really obnoxious couple.

Anyway, the other day, Libby told me that she didn't want to marry me because I would "probably be dead soon." She said it very matter-of-factly.

Libby has never experienced a death somebody close to her during her lifetime. So I explained to her that death means that you will never see the person again and that they are buried in the ground. Libby was horrified. She said, "that's so sad! I'm almost going to cry."

And then she was inconsolable, hugging me and telling me she didn't want me to die. In retrospect, this was probably not the most wise conversation to have with her right before bedtime.

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December 12th, 2015
08:50 pm

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Kitkat
We got our cat today, Kitkat.

We picked her up at the shelter this morning. Right now, we are just letting her hide in the guest bathroom. Apparently, with a new cat, you are supposed to give them one room all to themselves, so that's the bathroom, I guess.  Somehow, I feel like this could result in Libby peeing in her bed tonight.

The vetting process before we were allowed to get the cat was kind of ridiculous. We had to provide two references, and they even called my boss. Seriously. I mean, this was a cat who was eating out of garbage cans three months ago, so I'm sure it's pretty obvious we can do better than that.

So far, Kitkat seems very shy and quiet. She let my stepmother hold her, but other than that, she's just been lying in her little bed all day. I was kind of nervous about what it would be like to have a cat, but so far, it seems very similar to not having a cat. Except we can't use the guest bathroom.

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December 6th, 2015
09:08 am

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Kit cat
It turns out we're getting a cat.

My husband has wanted one for like 10 years. But we've been hesitant because the kids are so much work and also because of allergies. His allergies.  But he's been really lonely during the day, so he thought it might be nice to have a cat around.  He promised he would do all the work.

After we decided, things went kind of fast. We went to a shelter yesterday and found a cat that we liked, named Kitcat, and we're probably going to bring her home next week.

I can't believe that in a week we're going to have a cat. It sort of feels like when we were expecting a baby in the next week. Except obviously not quite as scary.  Having never had a cat, I'm not entirely sure what to expect. But I think it might be fun.  The cat we are getting is five years old, has black fur, and she seems really sweet. She was willing to eat treats out of our hands.

There was an awkward moment at the shelter when we were filling out the application, and there was a part where we had to say how much money we would be willing to spend on the cats medical care. I tried to say something like that if we had a cat for several years and it was part of the family, we probably would be willing to spend unlimited money on its care, but the way it somehow came out was that I was saying that I wouldn't spend thousands of dollars on medical care for a cat that we just got a week ago. So I ended up sounding like a callous bitch. Oh well.  I'm sure they will still let us have the cat.

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October 25th, 2015
01:25 pm

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Lj
Well, lj officially made it impossible for me to read or write posts on my phone or iPad. It has a mobile version that is very hard to read, and won't let me switch to a desktop version. And the lj app doesn't work at all. Which means lj is barely usable for me.

I guess LiveJournal is sticking around, but it's sad that it's not doing anything to improve its usability in this decade (whatever this decade is called).

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01:23 pm

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Lj
Well, lj officially made it impossible for me to read or write posts on my phone or iPad. It has a mobile version that is very hard to read, and won't let me switch to a desktop version. And the lj app doesn't work at all. Which means lj is barely usable for me.

I guess LiveJournal is sticking around, but it's sad that it's not doing anything to improve its usability in this decade (whatever this decade is called).

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

September 30th, 2015
09:41 pm

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Time
Libby seems incredibly confused about time. Here are some exchanges we've had recently:

"We'll do it later."

"Is it later now?"

Or:

"Grandma is coming on Friday."

"Is it Friday now?"

Or:

"We're going to the park tomorrow."

"When is tomorrow?"

"I… Don't know how to answer that."

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July 3rd, 2015
08:31 am

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Track team
Melanie started track team yesterday, and at the end of the one hour practice meet, she was crying hysterically.  She said she didn't like running and that it was too hard. And she never wanted to go again.

Track team only lasts for four weeks. I kind of want to force her to go, because it's only twice a week and it's outdoors. She said she'd rather stay home and watch television.

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June 28th, 2015
08:33 am

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Potty
Yesterday we went to a carnival.  Now that Libby is tenuously potty trained, we always worry about when she is going to tell us she has to go.  

So anyway, the second we got to the carnival, she told us that she needed the potty. But of course, all they had were portapotty's. When we got inside, Libby informed me that it was "sgusting" and she couldn't possibly use it. Her face upon seeing where she was expected to pee was priceless.

But the longer we were there, the more she kept holding herself and crossing her legs, so we finally had to go use the potty. We picked one that hadn't been used much, and I used it first.  The girl who had been crapping in her own pants a few months ago finally decided the public toilet wasn't too disgusting to use.

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June 3rd, 2015
02:32 pm

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Groceries
Melanie made a grocery list, but the adorable part is that she spelled it "growsares".

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May 30th, 2015
08:42 pm

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Pool etiquette
It was so hot today that I took the kids to the pool, which I never do because the pool is so freaking cold. The water in the pool is so cold, it makes my feet go numb. But because it was so hot, the water temperature was almost tolerable.  Almost.

So while I was at the pool, there was this man throwing the ball around the pool with his son. He was standing at one end of the steps into the water, and his son was at the other end, and they were whipping the tennis ball back-and-forth. At one point, the ball hit the table where his wife was sitting, and she yelled at him, "what's wrong with you? Stop throwing the ball around!"

I expected lifeguard to say something to him, but she was apparently on another planet. It was really upsetting me that they were throwing this ball back-and-forth pretty hard. I don't think it would've seriously injured anyone, but it would've definitely caused a bruise.  I was afraid to even go near the pool because I didn't want to get hit.

Finally, I said to the guy, "would you mind not throwing the ball around the pool? I'm afraid somebody's going to get hit by it."

The guy seemed upset. "It's just a soft tennis ball."

Tennis balls are not that soft if you're throwing them really hard, which it looked like they were. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. Isn't it obnoxious to be throwing a ball around in an area where people are swimming?

Anyway, his wife yelled at him again to stop, so he stopped.

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May 21st, 2015
09:14 pm

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Hairy
I went out to dinner with a friend of mine tonight, and while she was eating, she noticed a hair in her food that definitely wasn't hers.

She called over the waitress and told her about the hair. It was really disappointing because we have been to this restaurant many times and we really liked it. The waitress apologized and asked her if she wanted something else. My friend said she lost her appetite, and she just wanted a cup of tea.

When we got the bill later, my friend was really upset because they charged her for the tea. (They didn't charge her for the food with the hair in it.) The tea was only $2.50, but she told the waitress that it was unacceptable that they charged her for a cup of tea that she had gotten as a replacement for food with hair in it.

The waitress said she'd talk to the manager, and I guess they did adjust our bill, but then when the waitress came back, she just dropped the check on our table without saying anything, like she was pissed off.  Considering I spent half my day apologizing to patients for things that have absolutely nothing to do with me, I thought she could've been nicer.

I get that waitresses have crappy jobs, so I can't blame her for not being nicer, in a way. But I certainly would've tipped her more if she had been nice about the whole thing.  I mean, it wasn't her fault there was a hair there.

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May 19th, 2015
08:44 pm

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Party dilemma
A few weeks ago, I scheduled Libby's birthday party for June 13. It's the perfect day for a party: it's one of the two weekends surrounding her birthday, but not Father's Day weekend, it's on a Saturday so that I have Sunday to recover, and it's in the afternoon so I got the morning to prepare.

I was planning to send out invitations next week. Then today, we got a invitation for a party for another kid in Libby's class. And guess when the party is? June 13.

Weirdly, the invitation didn't have a time on it. I called the family, and they told me the party was at 4:30. Libbys party is from 230 to 4, so technically, it should be okay. But I still I'm not sure about the whole thing.

I really, really don't want to move the party. But on the other hand, I don't want nobody to show up because of this other party. Then again, I was worried we're going to have too many kids so this might be a good thing.  (We are inviting like 30 kids.)

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